The Root of Wanting
La Raíz del Deseo
Explore how wanting works in the mind and discover that the peace you're seeking can be found right now.
The Root of Wanting
Let's dive into the experience of wanting and desiring as it appears right now.
In meditation we often just contemplate what is happening
and pay a special attention to the activity of thoughts.
The mind, the world of thought, has many layers.
Perception and sensation
Notice that at first,
there are sounds, there's the experience of skin,
the experience of the breath,
the experience of colors and shapes with eyes open or closed;
still with closed eyes there are shapes and colors,
all through the senses,
perception,
sensation.
Then there's the reflective experience of thoughts,
which is a stream of imagination activity.
All this is happening in the same space.
It's a spaceless space.
There is no line or boundary or separation between sight and sound or thoughts.
It's all different flavors of experience,
one field.
No boundary
Normally we imagine a boundary between perception and imagination or thoughts,
as if the sounds are outside and the thoughts are the inner world,
and there's a line and a boundary between them.
But you can look for that and you will not find it.
It's all appearing in the same field,
the same infinite space of awareness, consciousness, reality,
since we can call all of this what is happening right now, what is real right now.
And it's a constant motion.
Nothing stays still.
A river flowing.
Nothing to hold on to, and no need to hold on to anything.
It's also not possible to hold on to anything.
The root of desire
So the illusion comes from the belief that there is something to hold on to,
the belief that there is a need to hold on to something,
and the imagination of that which we can hold on to.
This is the root of desire,
the kind of desire that creates suffering.
There is a healthy desire and we will explore this.
So notice the imagination of I here, wanting, needing something,
this familiar sense of self with needs and wants.
As you notice this as it comes and goes,
this familiar experience of I or me wanting, needing, the expectation, belonging.
Notice it's not happening in the sounds,
it's not happening in perception,
it's happening in that so-called inner world,
the I space,
me,
mine,
just full of imagination.
Wonderful, miraculous, infinite imagination.
Wanting is always in time
And notice that which appears, what is wanted and needed,
is often in time.
It's not here, not now.
It's possible tomorrow.
For the next moment,
the next instance,
even the desire and longing for the repeating of a state
or a glimpse of spiritual something or another.
Longing for that moment just in the immediate future,
based on the memory of a past moment,
that taste of expansion or peace or well-being.
If only that happened again,
all imagination.
If I practiced enough or if I glimpsed enough or if I awoke enough,
then I will taste and feel that more and more.
Searching, seeking,
wanting,
longing,
desiring.
Keep noticing that experience of something missing,
something wanted,
hoped for, desired.
Keep noticing that it appears in imagination.
And the imagination has also a felt sense,
the world of emotion,
which makes it seem very real,
very personal,
as real as the experience of watching any movie,
storytelling.
What is wanted
Notice that most likely what is wanted is a taste,
which in our imagination can be captured as a moment of joy,
well-being,
peace,
love, satisfaction associated with experiences, events, glimpses, states.
However it resonates more strongly for you,
if it's peace or expansiveness,
whatever form and flavor it feels more strongly to you right now,
just let that be present,
that which you long for.
Place it, imagine it fully.
It could be that feeling of love and connection,
whatever it is.
Tasting it now
What it takes is that, as you're longing for it,
you are tasting it right here, right now,
the seed of what you're longing for
is tasted and known right here, right now, not imagined.
We are in this now,
peace,
love, satisfaction,
whatever form.
What if that is what the breath is made of,
what sounds are made of,
what colors are made of,
what skin is made of,
the sense of touch and smell.
What if that is what all thoughts and imagination are made of?
The beauty of all experience.
Not later,
not tomorrow,
not yesterday,
but it is in the imagination of tomorrow.
Peace in the longing itself.
What you need to let go of to allow this:
what you're looking for might already be here.