Meeting the deep longing that drives your searching, and letting it simply be present without needing to fix or resolve it.
It's not any sense of negative feeling or longing.
It might even be a frustration, a desiring, a longing:
what brings you here,
what you could say is the root of the search,
the seeking, the striving.
It's not noticeable,
it might be subtle or not there at all.
Just allow it to bubble up or come up to the surface,
or even let it become stronger.
Let it become raw, erect,
like a fire ignited over all of your dreams and desires,
all of the desires you've ever had,
the dreams and longings you have ever had,
all in one point,
all in this one moment.
Everything that seems unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
But set aside the strategies and attempts and thoughts and narratives
of controlling this or solving this or satisfying this,
just the pure raw longing.
Letting experience flow
Let the breath come and go.
Let the experience of body sensations, sounds,
all of that be present as well.
Let it all flow in this moment without any direction or any place for it to arrive at.
Just space in this moment for all of the unresolved to just be unresolved,
all of the deep portion of the unsatisfied to just be unsatisfied,
unresolved and unsatisfied,
complete and total as it is.
Just a taste of flavor,
a creative energy.
Just allow this to permeate with an open heart and vulnerability,
and let any fear or pain be part of the longing,
complete in itself:
nothing to reject,
nothing to resolve,
nothing to do.
Longing as sacred
Let desiring be sacred.
Let the longing be divine.
Longing for nothing in time,
just longing itself, open.
Notice the most subtle aspect of reality, of experience,
or the longing,
or the discomfort, fear,
or pain is not bothered by itself.
This longing does not need to be resolved.
This discomfort does not need to be resolved.
It might be a narrative or an energy around the discomfort
that believes discomfort needs resolution,
but discomfort itself is free,
is pure,
is at peace with itself,
just discomfort being itself,
longing being the free energy of longing,
desire the free energy of desire,
with no need to be resolved.
In fact any resolution would be the end of the desire,
so it is free to be pure desiring.
Everything at peace
This, with all of experience right now,
whatever is happening,
sounds totally, absolutely at peace
with being: sounds coming and going,
appearing, disappearing,
images, totally at peace to appear, to disappear.
Sensations, including ones labeled as unpleasant or uncomfortable,
are completely at peace appearing, remaining, disappearing.
That's the mind, the thoughts, the narratives,
emotions,
all narratives of lack or insufficiency, things not being right.
And all the full emotions are happy and free to appear and disappear,
to come and to go.
Fear appearing as it appears:
it has fulfilled its destiny of being fear,
and appearing as fear is fully realized and satisfied,
then it dissolves and disappears fully satisfied.
The worry, the pain,
all struggles, all narratives, all reactions,
all mental formations appearing fully,
completely at peace,
all with a certain destiny of appearing and disappearing.
All of it Buddha nature,
all of it divine creation.
The breath as reminder
At the moment there is a sense of being stuck or looping in a narrative or a sensation,
any sense of the stickiness with experience,
just let the breath be a reminder that all is always in motion.
Everything rising, falling,
appearing, and disappearing,
the totality of all experience,
shifting, changing,
coming, going.
The breath is always the reminder,
and if you are not convinced,
and if the mind resists this reality, this fact,
explore this:
is there anything in your experience that doesn't come and go?
Whatever doesn't move, whatever is still is emptiness itself,
is not perceived,
does not appear.
Everything that appears, disappears.
All that is unwanted will go away,
and all that is appearing that is rejected and unwanted,
when appearing, is fully satisfied,
fully at peace to be what it is.
Discomfort, fear, pain, worry, rejection, reaction,
all appearing,
all celebrating, at peace with its impermanent nature,
celebrating the moment to be what it is,
to come and go.
The breath as longing
The exhale begins,
is fully satisfied as an exhale,
and it ends and disappears into a longing,
a need, a desire for the inhale.
Fully satisfied and celebrated to be that longing,
that desiring, that need which gives birth to the inhale,
allowing longing and desiring to disappear, to end, to die into the moment.
The inhale celebrates the full satisfaction of being the inhale,
then with a gentle tiredness of satisfaction dying into the exhale.
As with all things, all appearances,
all celebration,
always fully free and at peace to be what is that is appearing.
And what we are allows it all,
knows it all,
loves it all,
creates it all.