Never in the Mind
Nunca en la mente
A student describes a quiet, ordinary clarity in which she knows she is no longer "in the mind," and finds that it looks nothing like what others have described. The conversation turns to the limits of language, the nature of objects, and the difference between necessary and unnecessary pain in choosing to follow what one loves.
Never in the Mind
A student describes a quiet, ordinary clarity in which she knows she is no longer "in the mind," and finds that it looks nothing like what others have described. The conversation turns to the limits of language, the nature of objects, and the difference between necessary and unnecessary pain in choosing to follow what one loves.
I'd like to make a comment. There's something that knows what the mind doesn't know.
Something knows what the mind doesn't know?
Yes. That's me.
That's more you. Yes.
I feel it, but I can't put anything into words. It's very difficult. I just feel more like me. It's strange.
I can tell, because you are giggly.
It feels nice. And I can tell I'm not in the mind. It's becoming very clear to me when I'm not in the mind.
You can become so clear that you realize you can never be in the mind.
Well, I still prefer this, not being in the mind. I just prefer it. The mind is always so up and down.
It's freedom.
Yes. Any words I put on it to describe it just don't work. I simply prefer not being in the mind. And I know, I just know, that I'm not in the mind. That's all.
Preference and choice
And can you tell, because of this preference, that it's your choice?
I don't think I have any choice. It just isn't in the mind. I don't feel that I make any movement whatsoever. I don't see that kind of movement. I'm not even meditating, and I'm not in the mind.
What I see is no different. Every day my environment is the same. Nothing changes, but I'm not in the mind. The thing is, it isn't what anyone told me. This moment is not what everyone describes. There is nothing. There is everything, but it's not some amazing thing. It's just nothing. I don't mean nothing in the sense that everything goes away. I mean it's nothing like what people describe being clear is like, when you are not in the mind.
It's also very ordinary.
Yes. I just feel that I'm not in the mind, and that feels easy. Just easy. That's all. Any thought about what might happen, whether I'll go back into the mind, is just speculation. That much is very clear.
The illusion of being in the mind
This is why I said it can become so clear that you recognize you can never be in the mind. Being in the mind is an illusion. Once you see that it's not possible, that's the end of the illusion of being in the mind.
Yes. What makes it clear to me is this: when I am in the mind, there is an anxious energy. Now I don't feel that.
Anxious, you said?
Yes, anxious, like anxiety.
Yes, of course.
But now I'm quite clear that I'm not in the mind, and it just feels different. I don't feel anxious. Before, underneath everything, even the smallest thing would make me anxious. Now I don't have that anxious feeling.
I can tell.
But the thing is, I've heard from people who got clear, and they were so excited. It's not exciting at all.
It is never how we imagine it from hearing others. The imagination always belongs to the mind, right?
Yes. Words just don't feel right. There are no words that can really describe it. It is nice not to be in the mind, and that's what I prefer.
I recommend it too.
I don't have any questions, because I don't feel any doubt. Asking questions about what life is seems pointless, because that would be going back into the mind. I've been enjoying it. Do you have any comment?
No, not really. It's lovely to hear from you, and I'm happy for you. If questions come, let them come. The one comment I have is what I mentioned: you can recognize that you can never be in the mind. It's an impossibility.
The limits of description
I don't think I recognize anything. The recognition just happened. But it is clear that I'm not in the mind. I don't think I've seen anything.
That's true. Saying it that way is just a means of describing and communicating. There isn't a way that reality is that can be described, and that's why any description is not it. But when we communicate, we make concessions. Whatever way it is said, it's not that way. That's why the Tao Te Ching is so perfect: "The Tao that can be spoken is not the Tao." Reality, when put into words, is not reality. It's not it.
So if we say "I recognize," or "one has a realization," that's not true either. Saying "I saw X, Y, Z" is not true either.
I used to fixate on the word "this." But "this" doesn't point to anything.
Yes. There is nothing here. There are no objects.
What objects are
There are no objects unless you go into the mind, isn't that right?
In the mind, there is a concept of an object. It appears to be an object, and it appears to make objects out of experience, turning experience into things. But they're not objects. They're not really what objects represent. Objects represent things that aren't actually there. They exist only in the imagination, as the object in the mind.
And it's clear when it's imagination.
Exactly. If I say "a red circle" or "a pink unicorn," it appears like an object, but it is not.
Yes. I'm still a cheeky human, I think. But in this moment it feels nice.
That's what matters: the well-being.
Following what you love
I feel more passion about attending these meetings than about the other things I could be doing. Exploring my true nature matters more to me.
Yes. Just follow what you love.
What my mother has been trying to push me into is just not what I prefer.
Those are just the habits of our conditioning.
It feels like if I don't do what I love, I'm betraying myself.
It is. Yes.
And inside, that feels very painful.
Yes, exactly.
I don't feel lost now. It was a struggle, breaking away from my family. But I don't want to betray myself and feel that pain.
Necessary and unnecessary pain
There is pain that's unnecessary, and then there is pain that we can choose to live with. Pain is not wrong or bad. But there is unnecessary pain that we choose to live with out of habit, and then there is pain that is simply life. Even the journey of doing what we love can be painful in parts. So it's not always about avoiding pain, because that goes back to control and the mind.
Being in a relationship or ending a relationship could be painful either way. Doing what we love could lead to one or the other, and it could still be painful. So doing what we love doesn't always mean avoiding pain. But we can see: "I've been doing this, and it has been painful because I've been doing something I don't want to do, something I don't love." That is unnecessary pain.
Yes, that's the kind of pain I mean.
I know.
I'm happy about this. I don't really have questions, because anything else would just be trying to get back into the mind habit.
Thank you for sharing.